Note: Wieden+Kennedy Portland created a 147-minute movie to promote Invisible Spray from Old Spice. The whole campaign urges you “not” to watch the movie. This review is supposed to be satirical. I’m not trying to dump on interesting creative work.

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The “Invisible World” is a dare. Is anyone crazy enough to sit through a movie that’s two hours of a mostly blank screen?

I was. And I wrote a review.

First, “Invisible World” really is 147 minutes of that checkerboard background pattern you see when working in Photoshop. There are some subtitles that pop up. And the special effects occasionally “break down” to show actors cavorting in full-body green suits. But, yeah, it mostly is 2-plus hours of image-free dialogue. Old Spice has no lines of dialogue, but is mentioned more than a dozen times throughout the movie.

Second, you will feel like your brain is leaking out your ears after 10 minutes. There is so much repetition and all the jokes are self-referential. Jokes about what you should be “seeing” on the blank screen. Jokes about all the plot holes. Jokes about product placement. Few are funny, all are repeated. It’s like listening to a “Saturday Night Live” skit stretched out for two hours.

The ramshackle plotline of “Invisible World” is mostly an excuse to rifle through 1980s movie cliches. (Think “Gremlins” or “The Last Starfighter.”) A teenager wants to save his girlfriend from alien invaders after accidentally opening a porthole by throwing up on an arcade game. There’s an alien sidekick, a robot, a martial arts master and the like. None of it really matters. All of the dialogue is wink-wink. Ever been to a party with over-the-top theater people? It’s kind of like that.

“Invisible World” gets more punishing in the second half as the jokes keeps circling back on themselves and scenes stretch into an eternity. There’s plenty of screen time for a character with a bad “Belgian” accent and a “noooo” scream that goes on for a couple of minutes. Why does Belgium deserve this? Why do any of us?

Spoiler alert: The movie devolves into heavy product placement where Invisible Spray makes aliens support peace with the humans. “Invisible World” auditioned voice actors from Twitter who repeat the same line of dialogue in long epilogue.

In small chunks, “Invisible World” is not as bad as all of this sounds. The audio production values are solid and there are some truly funny and surprising bits sprinkled through the sea of repetition.

But I didn’t watch just a few minutes. I watched the whole thing. In the end, “Invisible World” takes your mind to a weird place. Did I hallucinate spending two hours staring at a blank screen? Was one of the characters really pooped out by a dinosaur? Did I imagine a guy in skin tight green suit making out with a tennis ball?

Is it all so bad it’s satire? Does satire smell like Invisible Spray?

Watch the movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Czw87lSpg

About the author: Nathan Groepper is a brand strategist for the food and beverage marketing agency quench, which has offices in Philadelphia, Chicago and Harrisburg, PA. Nathan was a film critic before moving to marketing.